Apologies Accepted

Encore Will Smith: A Slap Full of Love

It's an Encore episode just in time for the 2023 Oscars!  Let us take you waaaay back in time, all the way back to last year, March 2022, when a certain actor slapped a certain comedian and shook the world.  You know the Oscars are going to mention the slap - so here's a friendly recap of what happened to get you ready for Hollywood's biggest night!

 

If you haven't heard, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock across the face during the March 2022 Academy Awards.  If he had done naked cartwheels across the stage, naked and on fire, we couldn't have been more surprised.  Chris had made a joke about Will's wife's shaved head, and Will wasn't having it.  At first, he laughed, and then just mere seconds later (and one eye star from his wife) he strode across the stage and slapped Chris Rock, a comedian, across the face for telling a lame joke.  If only we all had such power - Look out, Amy Schumer! 

Will apologized for the incident - twice. Once a few minutes after the slap while accepting his academy award for best actor.  The second time on Instagram, a day later.  The first time he apologized to the Academy, everyone in the room, everyone watching on TV, and Everyone in the world (but excluding a certain Mr. Chris Rock).  The second time he apologized directly to Chris Rock.  Everyone in the world had a lot to say about it, everyone except Chris Rock who is keepin' it classy and writing a comedy show about it (note from 2023: his show is now on Netflix - we called it first!). 

Anyway - Will justified his love of slapping by saying he was a fierce protector of his family.  Just like Richard Williams, the guy he portrayed in the film that was the reason he won best actor at the Oscars - he was fiercely protecting his wife's honor from low-level humor.  Richard Williams answered by condemning the violence and saying that Will Smith was in the wrong.

And somehow, because of all of this slapping nonsense, Venus and Serena Williams are once again on the "Hollywood making you feel worthless" tour.  First, just the previous week, Jane Campion told them, while accepting the Critics' Choice award for Best Director for her film The Power of the Dog, that since they don't compete against men they aren't really "competing." The Williams sisters smiled and graciously let the insult pass them by.  But then Will Smith slapped any chance they had at celebrating the film about their father by using their father as an excuse for slapping a comedian for telling bad jokes.

 

Encore: Amazon: Child’s Play is not for Children

It's an open secret that children work for next to nothing and don't complain a lot.  That's why they make great workers, only it's kind of illegal in a lot of countries to employ children.  But don't worry because corporations have found the wonder of willful ignorance and plausible deniability, two factors that mean they can hire companies that in turn hire other companies that hire subcontractors who hire kids (and sometimes buy them) to work in factories, fields, and mines.

Tang Mingfang. a factory worker in China, noticed that FoxConn, his employer, had hired a lot of kids.  He was told the kids were having fun working as interns and learning all about how to make Amazon's popular Alexa, Echo Dot, and Kindle devices.  He was also told to shut his mouth and get back to work.  Tang decided to report the child labor violations and was sent to jail for two years.  He was beaten and imprisoned for reporting a crime against children.  He's out of jail now and has asked Amazon for an apology.

Jeff Bezos personally apologized from space and we are here to thank him for being such a hero.  OK, that didn't happen.  Plausible deniability means that one of the richest men on the planet also has to pretend he's one of the dumbest.

But it's not all evil billionaires, there are some real heroes in this episode!

German Ballet: Art in Bad Taste

OK so here it is: Ballet is boring and stupid.  But not to Marco Goecke!  He takes his ballet as serious as sh*t.  He is a German Ballet choreographer and he recently smeared dog poo in a critic's face who had dared to criticize his work.   He's got a lot to say about how this critic hounded (ha!) him for years and he just happened to have a bag of dog poo in his pocket and maybe this wasn't his best movement (ha!) but really the media should consider this type of journalism more carefully because it is unfair...did you catch that he smeared dog poo in someone's face? That's a way of expressing oneself that leaves a bad taste in your mouth (ha!).

His apology is one that explains to the world that while what he did was wrong, it was not entirely undeserved.  The critic had been speaking sh*t about his work for years so maybe it was a time she got a taste (ha!) of her own medicine.  Marco has a lot to say for himself and we have a lot to say about ballet - and you can hear it all here on America's favorite apology podcast!

Encore: Elmo - Reality Rocks

It's an Encore episode!

Elmo and Zoe are friends.  Rocco and Zoe are friends.  Rocco and Elmo are not friends because Elmo cannot be friends with a rock.  At least according to Elmo.  Elmo had it one day in 2004 and lost his cool on Sesame Street over Zoe saving the last cookie for Rocco to eat (because rocks don't have mouths and why are we explaining this, you get it, rocks are rocks).  Elmo refused to apologize and thus began the great debate: can you be friends with someone who fundamentally disagrees with you on the nature of reality.  Or the bigger debate: can you hurt a rock's feelings?

This Sesame Street episode was aired in 2004 but went viral in 2022.  What's up 18 years later that would make people want to share this clip millions of times over Twitter?  Maybe - just maybe - millions of people have recently been through something and suddenly identify with Elmo's ranting about friends believing that reality is open to debate?

Join us as we meander down the dark twisted alleyways of memory lane: children's TV, puppeteers, and getting the chance to live your dream only to watch it crumble like a cookie in a rock's mouth.

Brock Turner: Dreams Destroyed

Brock Turner had it all: A scholarship to Stanford (it's not Harvard but they try!), all-American boy-next-door good looks, a real shot at Olympic gold swimming for the US Olympic team - his life was one that many people would envy.  Everyone believed him to be a super nice guy on his way to do super nice guy things - like represent America in the Olympics and win some medals and then graduate from an almost-but-not-quite Ivy League school.  It probably would have happened too if it hadn't been for two Swedish guys bicycling  around town at 1am doing mysterious and questionable Swedish things.

Brock was caught on top of an unconscious girl beside a dumpster in a back alley.  She had no memory of ever meeting Brock and certainly no memory of giving him permission to touch her.  This would have been a he said / she said situation that would have quickly turned into a "but who cares what she said" situation if it had not been for two sober witnesses with nothing to gain (other than Olympic gold, the Swedes DO have a swim team...).

Brock wrote an 11 page apology and outlined all of his regrets and all of the pain he was suffering. But is that enough to get a passing score from Apologies Accepted?  You be the judge (but only after we deliver our verdict and wrap up the case).

Alan Turing: Turing Tricks

Alan Turing was a British mathematical genius, known today as the Father of Artificial Intelligence.  He famously broke the Nazi's "Enigma Code," a discovery which helped end WWII.  His work for the British government was top secret, so when he was arrested for being gay, he couldn't pull the "but I'm a hero card" to save himself.  He endured two years of chemical castration before killing himself (or eating an apple laced with cyanide due to an accidental cross contamination - which feels more likely?).  His tools for testing computer development are still in use today, 80 years later, and the "Turing Test" remains the measure of determining the level of consciousness in a machine.

The British Government issued an apology in 2009, with Prime Minister Gordon Brown offering an apology on behalf of the government.  The Alan Turing law is now the unofficial name for the pardon issued by Britain for the thousands of queer people it imprisoned.

Laws against being gay have a long root (OK, allow us one bad pun) in British history and we're here to discuss their origins and their changes over time.

Encore! Skinwalker Ranch: Paranormal Paradise

In this encore episode we take you to the fabled land of Utah and revisit the world famous Skinwalker Ranch!  Skinwalker is a ranch in Utah recently owned by a billionaire who wanted to study the paranormal.  Before that, the ranch was owned by a different billionaire who was studying flying saucers.  Before that, it was owned by a nice ranching family who did not care for UFOs or the paranormal, they just wanted to raise some cattle in peace and quiet – not have to fight off scary monster-wolves and deal with UFOs. All. Of. The. Time. Every. Day!

Our apology this episode comes from a hiker who accidentally seems to have wandered into a Skinwalker’s lair…and he wants to go back and apologize for trespassing.

Skinwalkers are Navajo witches who can assume any shape they want.  In the ancestral lands of the Native American Ute peoples, the most popular Skinwalker form seems to be a large hungry, angry wolf.   So for sure this hiker should go back, maybe covered in ketchup, and offer an apology.

It is said that Skinwalkers are seen at the ranch – but not just Skinwalkers!  No.  Also flying saucers.  And lots of other strange and scary beings.  The ranch has been studied for nearly 20 years, the two billionaire owners have each employed teams of scientists to observe and record occurrences at the ranch.  There are books, and podcasts, TV shows, magazine articles, and probably video games (sure, why not?!).  It seems like the real mystery behind Skinwalker Ranch is not the paranormal but rather, when will the Summer blockbuster movie be released?

Or maybe the mystery behind Skinwalker isn't so mysterious after all? 

Graza: Olive Oil’s Sorry Success

Graza is a startup company that really understands olive oil - and apologies.  The company launched in January 2022 and by December they had over 35,000 orders for olive oil.  It was a tiny bit more than the 5-person company was prepared to handle, but they tried!  The orders were mostly gifts and a number of shipments arrived after the holidays and some of the bottles were dented.  If that wasn't enough, some of the cute artwork on the labels started to flake off.  People were upset and they let Graza know.  You do not mess with people's olive oil!

The owner sent out an apology email that had some typos and misspellingz (nobody's prefect!).  He sent it to every customer, not just the ones who complained.  And his apology worked.  People found the apology to be sweet and authentic and not oily at all.  The media attention helped and Graza claimed an apology victory!  Good for them!

Other brands have also found success in saying "sorry" and have become notable for their exceptional handling of difficult situations.  Not every success story is a happy one (we're looking at you, Toyota) but as long as it was successful who are we to judge?

We're apologies accepted, that's who!  In this week's episode we bring you corporate apologies that worked even after people died (or couldn't find tampons).

Sharks! Hollywood is Sorry

Not Hollywood exactly, but one of the most important filmmakers in Hollywood!  Steven Spielberg apologized for the role his movie, "Jaws," played in turing public opinion against sharks.  Back in the 70s people didn't know that sharks were important to the ecosystem, or survivors of every apocalypse to ever hit the planet Earth, or gentle kind creatures who don't kill humans as often as toilets or cows!  No one understood that sharks were among the first creatures on the planet, and that we should respect them and not fear them.

We know better today - thanks to the efforts of biologists and conservationists (like Spielberg) and if whales are any indication, sharks are in for something of a renaissance.  So get ready to fall in love with the oceans' most misunderstood creature!

This was definitely not written by a shark.  We cannot write.  Hear that, it's the ocean - you should come for a swim!  It will be fun and relaxing!  Do you trust us yet?

How about now?

Harry and Meghan: Another Tabloid is Sorry Again

It's a New Year but same old slander and muckraking for UK tabloids!  This time "The Sun" apologized for an article written by Jeremy Clarkson where he said he hated Meghan Markle more than some serial killers.  He would like to see her paraded through every street in England, naked, with crowds of people shouting "shame, shame" and throwing excrement at her.  He was referencing a Game of Thrones episode (or his secret fantasy, he never specified in the article).

What is wrong with Jeremy Clarkson?  Better yet, what is wrong with the British Press? They keep throwing vitriol at a woman whose only crime appears to be that she didn't love Britain but did fall in love with a British Prince. 

The answer is money.  The British public eats this stuff up like Americans feast upon Donald Trump news (hey, we can't throw stones at our British cousins!).  "If it Bleeds, it Leads" is a famous editorial guideline for determining what story is headline news and Meghan Markle unfortunately is bleeding all the way to the bank for British tabloids.