Apologies Accepted

Doctors: Sorry Isn’t Bad Anymore

Newsflash: doctors are people and they have feelings.  Sometimes they make mistakes and feel bad about the errors and apologize.  In some States, those apologies are admissible in court as evidence.  California recently passed a law that allows doctors to express human feelings of regret and to say things like "I'm sorry that your mother died because I forgot to sew her back up and all her organs fell out when she stood up," and their expression of regret is not considered evidence.  The doctor could even say "I'm sorry that your mother died because I forgot to sew her back up and all her organs fell out when she stood up - see I used all the surgical thread to sew a button on my ski suit and I'm pretty bad at sewing so probably I shouldn't be stitching people back up anyway so..." and it still won't count against them in a court of law.

Doctors are traditionally discouraged from expressing regret, even sympathy, for fear of being sued.  Malpractice is big business in the US and thoughts of poverty frighten people with $500,000 in student loans to pay back.  Are these laws helping or hurting Big Medicine?  Stanford claims to have the answer, but it's Stanford so really the truth is anyone's guess.

Encore! Baby Jesus: Away With the Manger

Russ and Phylis have been victims of Christmas pranksters since 2016.  One year the baby Jesus was stolen out of their nativity scene, later returned thanks to the miracle of faith and a very passive aggressive 3-foot-tall sign that Phylis posted on the front lawn.  Another year baby Jesus was stolen and never returned.  In 2019 the merry pranksters struck again, stealing the entire nativity scene…only to return it a few days later with a note of apology (surely returned thanks again to the miracle of faith and yet another giant passive aggressive note signed by Phylis).

 

We’re here to rate the apology note the thieves left behind and explore the mystery of the nativity: how accurate is our modern day understanding of the birth of the baby Jesus?  What about the Wise Men, or the animals in the manger, or even the year and day of the birth?  What is true and what is fiction? We take a deep dive into first century Christianity and all the things around the two completely different birth narratives found in the Bible.

 

Note from Phylis: Do not listen to these two heathens discuss my nativity set or any of the words they can muster out of their mouths. (Note on the note: please note this is not an actual note from Phylis).

Jesus vs Santa Claus: The Catholic Church Takes a Side

So it's come to this, an Italian Bishop told a group of school children that Santa Claus did not exist.  The Church has resorted to lies to win the war against Christmas!  The Bishop's assistant apologized and explained that the Bishop meant to remind everyone of the true meaning of Christmas (again, lies).

The War on Christmas has some deep roots, the commercial versus the religious aspect has troubled people for over 200 years - people have been downing on Santa for years and it's time to stop.  In 1897 the war against Santa troubled one 8 year old girl so much that she wrote into the most important newspaper in the US, The Sun, to ask the question "is Santa Claus real" because "if you see it in The Sun it's so".  The most famous line in Christmas history was born when Francis Pharcellus Church (lay writing here, his last name is Church?!) replied "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus."

Truly, the case is closed.  But still the war wages on and we're here to give you some of the background on the reality of Santa and the sad little apology coughed out by one tiny-hearted Bishop's assistant.

Balenciaga: Satanic Sex Purses

What are satanic sex purses and how much do they cost you ask?  Well Balenciaga, the fashion house, decided to turn some teddy bears into purses and dress the bears in S&M gear, mostly leather harnesses and chaps because teddy bears aren't hard core into S&M (this is a science fact that everyone knows). Then they had some little kids stand on some beds and hold the purses.  People freaked over the sexual implications and suddenly Balenciaga turned from a fashion house into a devil worshiping sex cult that advertised its existence to the world through an advertising campaign.  To be clear, the campaign wasn't "hey we are here to worship the devil and have sex with toddlers." No.  It was more subtle.  It was children standing on beds holding teddy-bear purses and the teddy bears had button eyes and leather harnesses - all dressed up for the teddy bear S&M ball.

That's bad enough, and also dumb, but by this point the internet was on fire to examine every Balenciaga campaign ever and boy did they find things.  Clues were everywhere that led to a secret cabal of devil worshipping Hollywood types and politicians who are after children.   It turns out that the key to understanding the big picture was the S&M teddy-bear purses.

Balenciaga learned the hard way that you can't outrun stupidity, either your own or other people's, so they did what every great fashion house does when they expose their secret devil worshipping lust for young blood, they issued an apology and we're here to review the stupidity and the apology.

KFC: The Bots Did It

Kristallnacht - heard of it?  It's The Night of Broken Glass, the night many historians say was the start of the holocaust.  It's the night when the Nazi party ran wild in the streets, terrorizing innocent civilians.  91 people died and 30,000 innocents were arrested and sent to the camps.

What better way to commemorate the start of the holocaust than with a delicious crispy chicken sandwich from KFC?  That's what a marketing bot coughed out onto social media...in Germany.  KFC was pretty quick to apologize and we were pretty quick to take them up on their apology and rate it.

Attention skippers: the story begins at the 3 minute 30 second mark (you are welcome!).

 

*Encore* Charlie Brown: Guess Who’s Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner!

Snoopy is cooking Thanksgiving dinner and everyone is invited!  Jellybeans and toast for all - including Franklin, the only black kid in the world of Charlie Brown and Peanuts!  Franklin gets a seat at the table all by himself as the other kids crowd around the opposite side of the table.  Some people see this moment in the show as emblematic of the black experience in America: included but excluded at the same time.  Other people see this as Franklin getting a place of honor: by sitting alone he stands out amidst all the chaos of a dog and bird cooking and serving everyone dinner.  Some people see racism, some see cartoon fun, but everyone can agree that a dog and a bird shouldn’t have to do all the work while a bunch of kids sit around and complain about the food.

 

What is Thanksgiving, where does it come from, what’s the fact vs. fiction in the history of Thanksgiving?  And what about Snoopy – is there racism going on and is there an actual apology being made by anyone for Franklin sitting all alone at a table crowded with white friends?

 

Get ready to dish (sorry) about the tasteful (sorry) history of Franklin, his first appearance, his meaning and importance in the world of Peanuts (sorry and yes, we’re using it as a food pun), and the sweet (sorry) teacher from Los Angeles who helped flavor (sorry) his creation.

Cryptocurrency: No Money Mo Problems

FTX is a cryptocurrency exchange and "somehow" lost a bunch of digital money which means now they are in a lot of real world trouble.  Sam Bankman-Fried is the founder and head of FTX and he laid out a big apology on Twitter (yes, it's still up and running).  He's sorry for losing billions and billions of dollars and he's working to make things right.

What is Cryptocurrency, where did it come from, and when is it going away?  What is money for that matter?  We have the answers and it will only cost you treefiddy (that joke never gets old!) to find out.  Or you can listen for free and keep the $3.50 - we know a cyrpto exchange that might be up for sale soon and $3.50 real world money might actually be a good offer.

September 11th: Food for Thought

Nothing says "remember our fallen heroes" like a dinner menu!  At least, that's what The Clubhouse at Aquia Harbor thought when they created a Sunday Seafood menu with 9/11 themed menu options like the "Pentagon Pie" or the "Flight 93 Redirect" (it's a hot crab dip).  In September of 2022 the Clubhouse wanted to remind people of the importance of September 11th and mark the occasion of the 21st anniversary with some good old fashioned American seafood and booze (the remember-tini at $12.99).  The intentions were good and the food probably was good too but no one got to eat it because The Clubhouse had to take down the menu and put up a boring Football Sunday Seafood menu instead because everyone found the 9/11 menu to be in poor taste (yes it's a pun and you are welcome!).

Why is September 11th not a joking matter or a national holiday?  The answers may be a bit more complex than you think (money and feelings).  

Kanye West: Ye Gods

As it turns out, Kanye has issued many public apologies.  Across the years he has been a never-ending wellspring of "sorry I said that."

In our most unfortunate story to date, Ye speaks volumes about his inner worldview while sharing his most recent apology story with a group of reporters in a parking lot.  He's been on an apology tour for antisemitic remarks and no one around him has the courage to slap the microphones away from Kanye's mouth. 

So now Kaney is building a road to obscurity made from his very own words, which is funny considering words are how he built his empire.  But now instead of creating money, his words have become an acid which eats away at his billion dollar fashion contracts, his fan base, his family, and worst of all, have led him to Apologies Accepted, the podcast.

LA City Council: Behind Closed Doors

Everything is recorded these days.  Every. Thing.  But that was a newsflash to 3 members of LA's City Council when they met behind closed doors to talk about redistricting.  And boy did they talk.  They talked about "the blacks," and "the jews," and Armenians and those "tan feos" Oaxacan people who live in Koreatown.  They mock a fellow council member who is gay and compare his 3-year-old son to a monkey.  That last bit is not so bad, right? 3 year olds are always running around like crazy and doing silly-funny things.  But the 3-year-old boy is black and being "raised like a white kid."  So the monkey comment leans just a teeny bit racist.  Just. A. Bit.

No one knows who leaked the secret recording - and in California it is illegal to record people without their knowledge so whoever our hero is, they will be in some pretty big trouble later.  Like legal trouble.  Or maybe not! Because "maybe" there is a billionaire industrial mayoral candidate who is behind the leaked tape. Who knows? It's wild speculation.  The only thing that is for sure is that the 3 city council people involved haven't said the tape is a fake, instead they apologize for what they said behind closed doors.

Racism, it's everywhere - and it's back again in this week's episode.