Apologies Accepted

Kevin Spacey: Hands Off!

Kevin Spacey is a hollywood legend (for his grabby hands).  He has won numerous awards (not for his grabby hands) and was once an icon.  But one day in 2017 a story came out that Kevin had sexually harassed a 14 year old and after the accusation came out, Kevin came out.  Kevin apologized for the assault and then told the world what he had long held secret, he was gay.  People said he was coming out only to distract from the real story, that he had sexually harassed a 14 year old.

Recently Kevin was sued by Netflix to the tune of over $30 million precious dollars.  And he's up for criminal charges in the UK for assaulting half of the actors and crew (the other half were girls) that he worked with in British theater.  He's got a story to tell, and you've got to hand it to Kevin (ha!) he's a good storyteller.

Singapore on Alert: Clown Scare

Parents in Singapore were alarmed to learn that clowns were standing outside of elementary schools talking to children.  Facebook reports of evil clowns luring children away spread across social media.  It turned out that a local language school had tried to promote itself by posting clowns outside of elementary schools and offering parents and children flyers - it was all just a harmless promotion and nothing to worry about.  But people were still mad and a certain language school had to find the words to explain itself and say sorry.

Clownaphobia (not the name but it really should be) is real but didn't have a name until the 1990s.  But clowns have always been with us and will always be with us - even when we are being fired from our job.

Kim Burrell: Don’t be Ugly

Kim Burrell is a pretty famous gospel singer.  She is also a pastor because why not.  Kim said some words while preaching to her congregation, saying some stuff about how people are ugly but hiding it well under their Sunday hats, and some people in the audience felt pretty insulted, others perhaps understood that she was trying to be funny.  Either way, Kim issued an apology and then issued a second apology, apologizing for the first apology and explaining that her attorney was to blame.

Kim has been through this before, back in 2016 when she said some words about gay people and then had to clarify that the words she said weren't what everyone was saying they were.  She didn't apologize, but she did do the artful dodge of "don't shoot the messenger if you don't like the message."

We didn't, Kim.  We didn't like the message and we are pretty sure you won't like ours as you are the featured story this week on Apologies Accepted! 

Cobra Snake: Wild Life

North Carolina is pretty much about freedom unless you have a vagina - but honestly that is not what this episode is about but then it sort of is.  Until recently you could basically have any kind of pet you wanted if you lived in North Carolina.  Gorillas, tigers, bears - name a dangerous wild animal and if you could catch it and keep it in a cage, it was yours.  Chris Gifford (yes, famous Tik Tok Chris Gifford) had over 75 snakes and some of them were deadly - but that was perfectly fine because North Carolina allowed him to legally have venomous cobras in his basement because freedom.

When one of the cobras escaped, Chris just knew it would die in the freezing cold of winter and since it was November and already cold, this was a problem that would solve itself.  The snake would freeze to death and he would just get another one.  Except the venomous snake was spotted the following summer, it had not frozen to death and it had grown.

The pet inspectors came calling because they knew Chris had a bunch of deadly snakes in his basement and Chris did what any of us have done in the same situation - he lied but then confessed and then apologized.  Oh Chris, if only you had not apologized!  Now you are fair game (pun) for Apologies Accepted, the Podcast. 

Cremation: Body Parts for Sale

A funeral director by the name of Megan Hess ran a funeral home and a body-part distributing company. Both. Under. The. Same. Roof.  And no one blinked or thought that was strange at all.  After a few years of selling body parts to medical research and academics, the FBI came knocking at Megan's door and the agency was shocked to its core to discover that someone named Megan would stoop so low as to pulling out gold teeth from cadavers and then dismembering the bodies and selling the pieces…and sending the pieces to buyers. Through. The. Mail. 

Megan offered huge discounts and even free cremation if you were willing to donate a body part to medical science.  She made it seem like a small piece would be donated and you’d get the rest of the body back (as ashes).  But that is not what happened.  People got boxes of cement mix, or the remains of dogs, or other people, but for sure not the person you had brought to her to be cremated.

She was raking in up to $40,000 a month – she was swimming in money, bathing in money, living laughing and loving in money, until the FBI came and shut her down.

Megan got away with it because the industry was not regulated.  Organ donation is heavily regulated, but not heads, limbs, torsos, or knees!  It’s still kind of the wild west and there is money to be made if you can get your hands on a dead body that you didn’t kill.  That’s the hard part because killing is a crime but selling body parts is not.  Not even a tiny bit.

Funeral directors play an important role in people’s lives (and death - sorry).  People have always died, but it wasn’t until the Civil war that the funeral industry was born.  Death moved from the home, where it was a family matter, to the battlefield and hospitals, where it stopped being a matter of the home and became a matter for the medical profession.  Our current funeral system was born out of a perfect storm of war, advances in medicine, germ theory, and a millionaire’s trip to Egypt in 1930.

Sound crazy?  Not as crazy as giving people a box full of cement mix and watching them cry as they spread it lovingly in a forest.  Megan knows crazy and she will tell you that the funeral industry is just chock full of sane people trying to make an honest “living” (sorry).

Friends: Race to Diversity

Marta Kauffman created a little TV show called "Friends" and it was a giant hit for ten years.  Over the years, the show received some criticism for lacking diversity.  Marta heard the criticism and felt it to be unfair: of course her popular TV show was being singled out for criticism.  People are jealous and they will rip your TV show to shreds if given the chance.

Then all of a sudden it was 2020 and the culture shifted.  Race, diversity, and inclusion were now part of the conversation.  Looking back, it's easy to see that critiques around race, diversity, and inclusion were both valid and ignored by Hollywood.  Marta took a long hard look at herself and was embarrassed by what she saw.  She apologized for the part she played in systemic racism and took some steps to make sure diversity becomes a crucial element in all her future work.  She also made a giant donation of money to ensure that other people receive education in issues around diversity.

Representation of diversity in Hollywood is improving, from 11% of films in 2011 to over 45% of films in 2021.  Films starring diverse casts do well in the theatre and streaming.  Diverse faces and voices are all over the internet (hi) thanks to YouTube, podcasts (hi again), and platforms like TikTok and MySpace (just checking to see if you are paying attention).

As Robin Thede stated at the showrunners forum at ATX 2020, "When you know better, do better."  Words Marta, and many others (hi), plan to live by.

Lizzo: Word and Action

Lizzo is a superstar performer and a superstar person.  Some fans reached out and took objection with a word in her new song Grrrls, explaining that it is commonly used as a slur against disabled people.  She was accused of being ableist, forgetting that disabled people are alive in the world and have the same feelings as anyone who has a slur used against them. Lizzo took fast action, re-recording the song and changing the word, then issuing an apology.  Lizzo explained that she understood the power and hurt that words can inflict and would never want to subject others to that same kind of hurt.  That should be the end of the story, except some people claimed that the word isn't a slur and is used differently in other communities (in a harmless non-slurry kind of way).  Lizzo hasn't said more on the subject but her actions and apology are pretty clear.

The history of the disabled movement (that feels like it should be a pun, but it is not) is one of prejudice, disregard, and a few disabled people who met at a summer camp in 1971 and by 1977 had changed the world forever in only 26 days.  Ableism is about to get a big dose of sorry this episode of Apologies Accepted!

Exxon Valdez: Still Recovering 30 Years Later

Our first request and a huge thanks for the story idea!  It's one of the most memorable apologies ever given by a corporation. The Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989 was the largest environmental disaster in American history.  11 million gallons of oil covered 1,300 miles of coastline and killed off 250,000 birds and thousands of marine mammals.  The Exxon Valdez story has it all: a drunken sea captain easily blamed, an unqualified pilot operating without radar, corporate greed, and an innocent town full of hardworking people awakening to a tar-black sea - it was the biggest story of the time and 30 years later is a story that continues to prove that corporations are greedy liars who greed and lie.  There's a reason that Exxon was fined 5 billion dollars in punitive damages, and it can be summed up in two words: corporate negligence.  And there's also a reason why that fine was reduced by 90% to $500 million dollars: greedy liars.

It's 30 years later and there are still 55 tons of oil on the beaches of Alaska.  But don't worry because Exxon did great and is bigger than ever!  They barely even remember the spill but they are pretty sure they acted quickly and heroically, no matter what those sleepy townsfolk might have said about it at the time.  And look, who needs so many birds anyway?

Certainly not UFOs.  It's almost impossible to connect UFOs to birds, or to oil spills for that matter.  But we find a way!

Eric Lander: Burned to a CRISPR

Who is Eric Lander you are asking?  He served as the Science Officer for the Biden Administration.  He lasted eight months.  He resigned after accusations of bullying and sexism forced the White House to say "ummm, hey, wait a minute, this is supposed to be a stupid-easy cabinet post, why are we hearing so much about you."  Eric Lander had the chance to be a real life Dr. Spock, the first Chief Science Officer on Planet Earth.  Instead he made his staff feel undervalued and apparently this was a super common occurrence when those people happened to be women.

It's not like this came without warning.  Eric had to make some public apologies before he was appointed.  He explained during his Congressional Appointment hearing that sometimes he behaved in ways he wasn't proud of and in the same hearing then also apologized for understating the contributions of two female scientist who helped with the discovery of CRISPR technology.

Eric happens to have been the President and Founding Member of the Broad Institute (if you are smart you've heard of it and if not...well you've heard of it now so welcome to the smart club).  The Broad Institute happens to be in a patent war with UC Berkley over the discovery of CRISPR and the legal dispute also happens to involve the two scientists whose contributions to the CRISPR field Eric had understated in a published paper (coincidentally, these two Nobel Prize winning scientists also happen to have vaginas).  

What is CRISPR you ask?  Well, it's like the internet was in the 1990s: it's this weird thing that people are talking about now that sounds really sci fi and in no way impacts you, and five years from now you will be guzzling some gene enhancing solution to change your eye color to match your shirt.  That is a promise.

Stonewall: Birthplace of Pride

Back in 1969 a small group of 8 police officers went into the local gay bar to conduct a weekly shakedown of the mafia-bar-owners for some cash and to hassle some queers.  The Stonewall Inn was the night home to all the queers: gays, lesbians, transgender people, drag queens, and assorted randos.  The cops went in on a normal night, just before midnight on June 27th, ready to check some genitals (for real) and grab some cash; they came out a few hours later on the morning of June 28th to a brave new world, cashless and bruised - beaten by a pack of queers.  There were some hurt feelings and it took 50 years for the police commissioner of the NYPD to apologize publicly for the years of weekly harassment and beatings that the gay community endured at the hands of local police.

The events on June 28, 1969 gave birth to a movement, and pride parades, Queer Nation, ACT UP, Lambda Legal, HRC and gaydom in general.  Gays and allies alike owe a big thank you to the brave people who knew how to fight and how to throw a good party at the same time.

But the fight is far from over - all minorities are feeling this today.  The fight never ends, even after the apology is offered.  We all, BIPOC, women, queers, really sexy good looking people, we all are in trouble as history tries to repeat itself - get ready to fight because the fight is ready for you.