Apologies Accepted

Jeffery Singer: The Word is Vexatious

Some words just don’t get to be spoken by some people.  That’s just how it goes.  But sometimes people use words they shouldn’t anyway, in places they shouldn’t, and at times they shouldn’t.  Jeffery Singer found out the hard way that the N-word is one of those words: it shouldn’t be used by some people, in any place at any time under any circumstances.  His use of the N-word while auditioning comics for Canada’s “Just for Laughs” comedy program resulted in his resignation and the public statement from the festival organizers informing everyone that they will not tolerate unprofessional behavior in the work place.  Indeed, they find it vexatious!

It was a bit more than just using the N-word publicly that forced Jeffery to resign - accusations of sexual harassment, homophobia, and sexy S&M (if you know, you know) were levied against him by numerous comedians who are not laughing as one of Canada’s most influential taste-makers learns the hard way that sorry is not the hardest word.

Ellie Kemper: We are all Canceled

Twitter came for Ellie Kemper in May of 2021.  They called her the “Queen of the KKK” and accused her of being a white supremacist.  The story picked up traction in newspapers and real media (sorry, newspapers!) and Ellie Kemper (aka Kimmy Schmidt) found herself issuing an apology for being named the “Queen of Love and Beauty” nearly 20 years ago by the Veiled Prophet Organization of St. Louis.  The VPO was founded in 1878 by two civil war veterans so yes, there’s a lot of white supremacy going on in its founding, but there’s also a lot of classism, too. Ellie wasn’t celebrating white supremacy when she went to the ball in 1999, she was just going to a party.  Or was that the point of the party?

Twitter came for Ellie Kemper and she apologized, but in the end it may ultimately be Twitter that owes Ellie an apology (she’ll probably be pretty gracious about the whole thing if you do apologize, Twitter).

My Favorite Murder: My Favorite Apology

The hosts of MFM have legions of adoring fans. Karen and Georgia are down to earth, funny, relatable, and share their innermost thoughts and fears freely on the air.  They also share the thoughts and feelings of others.  Some of these stories are firsthand accounts, and some are secondhand.  It was one of these secondhand stories that prompted the hosts to issue an apology and promise to be more careful in publicly sharing other peoples’ trauma.  It might all be legal, but is it right – and does that matter?  What’s behind this idea of true crime as entertainment – is it really a way to deal with fear of crime or just morbid curiosity?  We don’t have all the answers, but we have thoughts on culture, ethics, and crime.  Join us as we dive into America’s number one podcast obsession.

Pepe LePew: Misogyny Stinks

Ah Amor!  What is life without love?  What is life without the romantic chase, n'est-ce pas?  What is life without a little bit of unwanted kisses and stalking?  Pepe LePew is about to find out.  Once the suave and sophisticated star of 1940s cartoons, famous for pursuing love at all costs, Pepe was removed from Space Jam 2 (did we really need a second one?) due to his past inappropriate behavior.  What was once deemed comically funny is now seen as creepy and gross, crossing a line from humor into assault.  Pepe's apology appeared in the New Yorker Magazine and begs the question: is an apology from a cartoon skunk for sexual assault intended to be a sign that the "Me Too" movement has gone too far?  Or is it an indication that there is still work to do and perhaps the movement hasn't gone far enough?

Basecamp: The Work-Life Imbalance

Basecamp designs software that helps other companies manage productivity.  It’s so good they use it themselves!  A component of Basecamp is the group chat feature called “Campfire.” It’s designed to allow employees to have informal conversations about anything and everything.  Turns out that feature was a problem within Basecamp’s offices.  Their employees were using Campfire to discuss racial inequality and political issues.  The bosses felt that political and social conversations were distracting people from vorking (if you know, you know) and making money for the company.  So they told their team to stop with the commentary and just focus on vorking.  They more than suggested, they made new rules forbidding such conversations on the company’s platform.  Fair enough, it’s their private company, they can do what they want.  The problem is that the bosses had originally allowed the employees to create a Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion committee to look at the company’s behavior and protocols to determine if there were any racial issues at play.  When the bosses pulled the plug on the political/racial chat (as well as a few other health and wellness benefits), they also closed down the DE&I committee. The employees suddenly felt unempowered to do anything other than quit.  So 1/3^rd of them quit and Basecamp is left asking itself a question for the ages: where did it all go wrong?

Chrissy Teigen: Pretty on the Outside

Courtney Stodden, singer/model/author/actress, called out Chrissy Teigen, model/author/lifestyle guru, for being a hypocrite.  "Hypochrissy Teigen" she said, can dish it out but can't take it.  Chrissy, the Queen of Clapback on Twitter, has millions of followers thanks to her quick come-backs and sheer genius replies (when twitter feuding with a comedian she replied "much like your career, I have no comeback.  You win!").  But in March of 2021, the negativity and endless trolling in Twitter got to Chrissy and she decided to quit forever and live in a gentler, troll-free, world.  That's when Courtney spoke up...back in 2011, Chrissy Teigen cyber-bullied then 16 year old Courtney Stodden with name calling and encouraging suicide. Much of the harassment was public, but some of it was direct messaging.  Chrissy Teigen, a 26 year old successful model, publicly tweeted a troubled 16 year old with slut shaming and suggestions to "go. to sleep. forever."  The direct messages were worse, and though unverified, if true, say things like "I can't wait for you to die" and straight out suggest for Courtney to kill themself (Courtney has recently come out as non-binary).

Chrissy's own trolling is catching up with her, but she's escaped such issues in the past.  Is this time different?  Is Chrissy being canceled or suffering the consequences of her actions?  It wasn't just Chrissy who attacked a helpless teenager, Anderson Cooper, Joy Behar, and even Courtney Love (remember her?) but Chrissy seems to have been the only one to wish death upon a teenager.

Note to our non-binary listeners: we tried and tripped countless times when using pronouns to speak about Courtney's story.  We misgendered them a number of times, and while we acknowledge our errors during recording, we still failed to live up to our own standards of respect.  Our heartfelt acknowledgement of this issue with apologies, and a promise to try better.

TEIGEN UPDATE: Macy's has stopped carrying Chrissy's cookware line as of May 18, 2021.  You may hear that Target also stopped carrying Chrissy's "Cravings" line, but that was a deal that ended in December 2020, long before this story became public.

Golden State Killer: Never say Never

He hid for over 40 years, living his life and raising his kids.  From 1973 to 1986 he committed over 100 robberies, 50 sexual assaults, and 13 murders.  He is one of the most notorious serial killers alive today, and in August 2020, at the age of 74, he was sentenced to 13 consecutive life sentences.  He said little in court, but did offer an apology to the judge for the people that he had hurt.

Can an apology ever be sincere coming from a serial killer?  Are his words honestly how he feels, or is there something more going on behind the words?  And is justice served by sending someone to prison?  Big questions, big answers, and big ideas fill this week's episode.  From robot police dogs to privatized prisons, the future of the justice system is shifting daily and one serial killer is about to experience first hand the system that as a former police officer he helped build.

Robert the Doll: Don't Toy With Me

In 1904 little Robert Eugene Otto was given a doll as a toy.  The doll became a playmate and confidant…and something more.  From childhood to the end of his life, the doll remained a presence in Eugene Otto’s life.  Locals claimed to see the doll move, to hear the doll speak, to see him looking out of the windows of the Otto House.  After Eugene died, the house and the doll were sold to a woman who cared for the doll for 20 years, until she decided to donate the doll to a local museum, warning the staff that the doll was haunted.  Robert the Doll now lives in a museum in Key West, Fl.  He’s the star attraction, a glimpse into turn of the century childhood.

Visitors to the museum who mock Robert, or take his picture without permission, find themselves cursed with bad luck.  Over the years, Robert has received over a thousand letters of apology from people who have made the mistake of disrespecting Robert.  Their letters beg for forgiveness and plead with Robert to lift his curse.  Robert the Doll makes one thing clear – messing with the paranormal is not child’s play (sorry).

CURSE UPDATE: Listeners will note Juliette’s audio issues this week, and there are times when she can’t be heard at all, although Theo can be heard responding to her.  Immediately after recording both Theo and Juliette had the same message flash on their screens: “poor internet connection.”  They are not saying that this was due to Robert the Doll, but they are also carefully NOT saying that it isn’t due to Robert.  They have the utmost respect for Robert and deeply appreciate being allowed to discuss his story and straighten out some of the myths surrounding him.

Apologies Accepted: What's in a Word?

The word apology has come to mean “a way to repair damage for one’s own words or actions” but it started off as a legal term (we were legally required to explain that before making jokes).  From ancient Greece to Cardinal Wolsey to Shakespeare, the word has changed over time, but one thing has remained constant: judgment.  What makes a good apology?  What makes a bad one? If someone says “sorry” are you obligated to accept their words and offer forgiveness?

Not Theo is traveling and Not Juliette is puppy training, so this week we reached into our vault of early unreleased episodes – here is a peek into the distant past of November 2020, where we discuss the genesis of the show and all things apology.

Perez Hilton: Dirty Laundry, Easy Money

In the early 2000s, Mario Lavandeira Jr., better known as Perez Hilton, was the self-proclaimed "Queen of all Media."  His celebrity gossip blog pulled in $50,000 a week in 2007, and Hollywood's A-listers dreaded being featured on his site.  He was friends with Lady GaGa and Paris Hilton (the inspiration behind his pseudonym), had offers for his own TV shows on VH1, and guest appearances on countless celebrity news shows.  He shot to fame at just the right time, blogs were new and celebrities were badly behaved. His mean-girl name calling and 3rd-grade photo editing skills were as much a feature of his blog as the celebrities he covered.  But the culture started to shift and Perez Hilton, Queen of dirty laundry, found himself having to clean-up his act or be canceled.

The same is true for Elaine Lui, founder of Lainey Gossip, another famous website from the early 2000s that was known for its cruel humor.  Elaine has apologized for her past remarks and has made an effort to "do better."  Has she?  What does she share in common with Perez Hilton and where do they differ?

The Apologists bring you all the latest breaking news on celebrity bloggers who have found out the hard way that being mean might pay but Karma is indeed a b*tch.